so many people leaning on me
I am trying to keep my balance
but if I fall, the whole world goes with me.

Knowing the events of 4.10.10, there I thought this was a very, very possible situation. Somehow I managed to stay on my feet. Why have 4 frustrated people and 2 happy people when you can have 6 happy people? Life is frustrating. Especially because people cannot control their feelings.

My one advice to my friend "keep moving". You stop, and you will find yourself more frustrated. You keep moving, and you will find a new place. Move, even if you have nowhere to go. It's like saying "I don't know what I want to do for a career, so I won't go to college yet". You start out aimless-everyone does. Then you find your path.

But this is why I want to go to New Zealand. I want to find my path. I want to know what I want. I want to understand myself so that my wandering has purpose and is not wandering defined by who I am with. But does this understanding have any meaning if I am constantly surrounded by people? Maybe it is pointless understanding yourself outside of the context of your friends and society because you will always be surrounded by them. Or at least the latter.

I suppose I lean on my friends, too. And they help keep me upright.