September

It was the beginning of 6th grade. We were the young kids on the block. We were just getting used to our new school.

On one particular fall afternoon, I had an interesting experience. From what I can remember, the day was just a normal day, and I was slowly getting into the rhythm of the new schedule.

The it hit me. It hit all of us. Kids started saying how Hebrew schools were canceled and after-school activities were canceled. I figured it was just the norm. Things get canceled...no big deal. The principal came over the announcement and told us to go to our homerooms. And so that wasn't too big of a deal, seeing that my homeroom was also the same room as my next class. And so then it started.

My English teacher came into the room. The second she started talking, I knew something was wrong. And I think the rest of the classroom got it, too because they soon all looked up at her, wondering what was happening. She said words like this..."you kids are growing up. You need to enter the world of adulthood. This is a scary world. (her voice was wavering with emotion) I don't mean to scare you, but this is a very, very scary world." Then she sat down, waiting for the announcement to come on. I felt like I could cry. But then I looked around at my table of emotionless peers and knew I needed to take a hold of my emotions. I felt trapped in this strange school, with no idea of where my parents and family were and no idea whether I would ever see them again.

And so the announcement came. We all had different experiences. I felt relieved. Some others worried about relatives. And even others joked about how the "football" (command center of nuclear weapons) was probably destroyed in the pentagon. At least I knew that the world was not ending (although it was much closer than I had realized). At least I knew what was going on.

And so I biked home with my sister. My aunt and uncle and cousins were over and there were high emotions. All I can really remember is my aunt telling me not to watch the news. But I seemed compelled to do so. I needed to know what was going on. As long as I knew the world was still not ending, I would be happy.

To this day, I remember the heart wrenching feeling of helplessness. As a matter of fact, today there was a power outage at my school and I felt as if the world could be ending. With all the commotion, my math teacher walking out of our classroom saying she had to pick up her son, all the confusion in the hallways, my cellphone not working, I felt as if there was something I didn't know. Like the world was ending and I had been totally blindsided by it.

As of today, the world hasn't ended. But it has made a huge impact on the lives of teenagers (along with everyone else. Whenever anyone asks me how old something is, I wonder..."Was it there before September 11th?"

p.s.
talk to me if you ever want me to talk to you again.