Can anyone hear me?

Life is way too stressful right now.


And, wow, listening to the song "Waiting for my Real Life to Begin". Why am I so in love with depressing songs?

*gets out of stopped train*

"What's going on?"
"I don't know, I guess the train is lost"


"How can a train be lost, it's on rails?"

~The Darjeeling Limited


This is one of those comedies that makes you laugh so much but has so many things that make you think of such bigger issues. Maybe it's just me.

How much energy do the electrons in our body have?

KE=(1/2)(m)(v)^2 (although electrons don't have any net KE, because they are moving in circles, we won't take that into account here)

There are about 2.2320370181851 x 10^28 electrons in the human body

electrons can move up to the speed of light, but we'll say that they are about 90% there for this problem (270,000,000 m/s)

The mass of a proton is about 3.3x10^-27 Kg, and an electron is 1/1836 of this, so an electron weighs about 1.80x10^-30 Kg

So, total mass of electrons in your body is (2.232037018151x10^28)(1.8x10^-30)=.0402 Kg

So then KE=(.5)(.0402)(270,000,000)^2
So there are 1.465x10^15 Joules of energy in the atoms in your body.

To put that in perspective, lets say a 1 Kg ball was being thrown at you with this energy (square root of(1.465x10^15/.5)=54129474 m/s, which would be 54129 Km/hr and 33634.5 mph. That's quite fast.

How would you get all that energy out of the electrons in your body, though?

It feels like every time I convince myself that I in fact do have enough time to do something, I run out of time.

I want so desperately to stop and plan something with my time without having to spend time planning.

The other day, I started writing. Like, I was sitting down at a computer at the library and I just wrote...about my life...about what I was thinking about...about so much stuff. It ended up being about 7 or 8 pages, and it only took me about 20 minutes, and I was so satisfied afterward. I wasn't really sure what to do with it. I really had no use for it. So I just left it up, put in bold "Read this" at the top and left. I really hope someone read at least some of it.

So, yeah. Stressful week. Actually, stressful month. Got into college (my second) today, which is good. That makes everything better.

So apparently I am in the "identity searching" stage right now (according to Freudian psychology). I feel like I've been in that stage for the past 7 years.
I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at right now.

Homework time.

Running on 2.5 hours of sleep.

Just came back from the ski trip, which was pretty much the best weekend that I have had so far this year. Late-night conversations with people I barely knew. Getting to know people I thought I already knew. Realizing that after they kicked me out of my bed (there were 4 of them-perfect amount for all the seniors), they are really stupid for the things they do sometimes at 3 AM? I'd rather feel my life, or at least my view of it.

But I still respect and love all of them so much even the freshmen/freshman.

"The fights you fight now will be the fights you fight for the rest of your life."

But we become desensitized to those fights over time.

Why do adults think they are so much different than teenagers?

Like, seriously. Maybe its that thing again that the artist cannot see the flaw in his own artwork. But I really don't see any differences.

Oh wow. I think I like someone. Lets hope they like me. Cause if they don't, then I'm going to have a boring Thursday night.

Everything is done. The smallest movements of all the world's possessions, if measured accurately, will tell us what will happen.

And I don't really know what I just said. I can't stop thinking about how my friends laughed at me the other day when I talked about how you're moving at the speed of light if you are moving around while time freezes. Then Ezra let me know that if the speed of light was not the maximum velocity that anything can travel - if something traveled faster - it would be everywhere at once.

That kid has a bright future.

I love track. And the world right now.

El Choque Cultural

Sometimes I feel like the artist who can't see his own flaws.

You perceive all of these things
I’d never have known.
Will you turn off the lights?
we’re already home.
-"The Artist" by "The Hush Sound"

so much metaphorical meaning.

And sometimes however much it seems evident of something else, I have absolutely no idea how I feel.

estoy perdido.

Negative thoughts.

Is it bad that I am beginning to pity myself?

I have been up way too late these past days. I went on a 7-day streak where I went to bed past 1 AM, and that didn't bode well for me.

It isn't like I am doing anything. I keep telling myself, "you have plenty of time, you don't have to finish this now, you have all night, you have all the time in the world." So not true.

But anyways, I ran for the first time in a while today with Luke. It was nice. We went up a bunch of hills, and I convinced myself several times that I needed to stop and stretch my calves, but I kept telling myself that it isn't too bad. And it wasn't.

And I don't think anything is really too bad right now. I just keep convincing myself that it is, and I don't know why.

That's all I can say for now.